Has KFC not SEEN the SIZE of LC'S ASS lately?

An open letter to Lauren Conrad:

Whether running a fashion show for the hottest young Hollywood stars or walking the red carpet at a new club, you always have an “Original Recipe” for success.
We recently heard about your decision to leave “The Hills” and move down the street from one of our restaurants. In keeping with KFC’s tradition of Southern Hospitality, made famous by Colonel Sanders himself, we’d like to welcome you to the neighborhood! Moving can be stressful and tiring, so allow your new neighbor, KFC, to cater a VIP housewarming party for you and your friends.
In the spirit of New Year’s resolutions and your commitment to a fit lifestyle, you can enjoy the party guilt-free by removing the skin on our chicken and choosing a side of our green beans for a meal high in protein but low in fat and calories.
Furthermore, we heard the ”reality” of your job situation is changing soon. We are very impressed with your self-titled clothing line and would like to invite you to design one of our Retro T-shirts that benefit Colonel Scholars, a charity providing deserving students with much needed college scholarships.
KFC has been welcoming folks through our doors for more than 50 years and we’d love to help ease your transition from “The Hills.” All you have to do is tell us a date and we’ll cook up some of the Colonel’s home-style favorites that will make you feel settled no matter how many boxes have to be unpacked.


Sincerely,

Gregg Dedrick
President of KFC

The last thing damn LC needs is a big ole bucket of chicken! One thing I will say is KFC has nicer breasts than LC!