Lauren Conrad Is a Goddamn Liar (Just My Opinion)
Lauren Conrad may seem like a harmless pile of jewel-toned tank tops layered, one on top of the other, into the shape of a great gal who just wants to live her dream of designing bold statement necklaces and reasonably-priced headbands for Kohl's®, but please sit down and calmly listen to what I am about to tell you: She is actually a G.D. liar who can't even be honest about what her favorite metallic hue has always been.
In a recent interview with the lifestyle blog Cupcakes and Cashmere, Lauren recommended that we all buy some hair accessories, namely Bando's Rose Gold Model Bobbi Pins ($10 for a set of eight—an unreasonable price). Here's how she explained why she likes these bobbi pins in particular (emphasis added):
I love my short hair and have had so much fun cutting it (again...and again). But I can't do a ton of styles with it. While I'm learning to style my shorter 'do, I like throwing in a few pretty pins to hold the choppier pieces in place. Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue, so these Bando pins are right up my alley.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue, says Lauren Conrad. Not white gold, not yellow gold, not spangold. Rose gold.
Rose. Gold. Has. Always. Been. My. Favorite. Metallic. Hue.
This is the biggest freakin' lie I have ever heard in my entire life.
Does Lauren Conrad have a rose gold engagement ring that was presented to her sometime during the year 2013 by her now-husband William Tell? Yes.
But has rose gold always been Lauren Conrad's favorite metallic hue?
Please. I think you are forgetting that your high school experience where you wore silver necklaces every day was captured on film, Miss Lauren.
Roll tape.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue, says LC in 2015. But that's a freakin' lie because I saw her wearing a silver necklace in her Laguna Beach casting tape in 2004.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue, coos the Lauren Conrad of today. But that's a freakin' lie because I saw her wearing a silver middle finger ring while talking on a cordless phone to Stephen.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue sings Lauren Conrad to the cupcake blog. But that's a freakin' lie because I saw her wearing a silver necklace when she was putting on makeup next to Lo (Lauren Bosworth).
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue trills Lauren Conrad about the bobby pins. But that's a freakin' lie because I saw her shoving a silver three piece jewelry set in the face of a Getty photographer in 2005.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue says Lauren Conrad. A lie. A LIE.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue says Lauren Conrad, who thinks that just because she has short hair now she can change her whole identity and erase her past. But that's a freakin' lie because I saw her wearing flashy yellow gold chandelier earrings at a Sprint Pepsi party for Ocean Drive magazine.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue says Lauren Conrad. These [rose gold] Bando pins are right up my alley. But that's a freakin' lie—they are not right up her alley—because I saw her in 2006 wearing a nameplate necklace with her name and a nameplate necklace with her boyfriend Jason's name and neither of them were rose gold.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue, whispers Lauren Conrad, looking into the mirror and crying. Maybe she can delude herself into believing that's true. That a rose gold engagement ring was the metallic hue she really did want. That her husband knows her well enough to know what precise tones of metals she likes. But that's a freakin' lie because I saw Lauren shedding mascara-blackened tears on an episode of The Hills in 2008, and she was wearing a gold necklace that was not rose gold.
Rose gold has always been my favorite metallic hue
Give me a break.
Sorry to be real.
[Photos via Getty, Laguna Beach, The Hills, Tumblr]
This is a really pathetic article. Lol thanks for the weird laugh!
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