HERE'S a FUNNY article I found on WOMEN and SEX!

Here's an article I wrote for Jezebel magazine. They said it was too racy for the magazine. So I thought I'd throw it at you guys.


Bert

Women are sexual liars! I don't blame you. If men had the same impossibly restricting sexual code that women have placed on them from birth then men might lie about their sexual past like most women do. I just think it's important to get to the truth; women are sexual liars! Women are well aware of how many sexual partners that they've had. But, as a rule, women will divide that number in about 1/3 in public conversations. Women have a sexual "number" that they MUST stay under. If not they brand themselves as dirty. And no woman can admit she's dirty, right? If a woman has sex with an "ex" it doesn't get added to her sexual odometer because they've had sex with him previously. This defies the rules of basic math. But I understand that women can do that because…because they are women. It's still not acceptable that women have as high a sexual need as men. So the "he forced me into cheating" lie was created. We're supposed to believe that men cheat because we are insatiable. It's not acceptable for a woman to have the same sexual appetite so women lie and say that her partner was so rotten that she had no other option. Is it a crazy thought to assume that one option was to actually leave the relationship? The "Born again Virgin" lie protects a woman's self esteem as well. Common sense tells you that if you have sex ONE time you're not a virgin anymore. Ladies, there is no way to erase your sexual past. If you had sex with half of the Lambda Chi house back in '94 you can't be a virgin anymore because you will it. Lie. Lie. Lie. Protect your sexual self esteem, ladies. Guys do it. Few men have as many sexual partners as they say. Few men are as well endowed as Sea Biscuit. And most can't last 'til midnight much less all night long.